Frustration is setting in. I can't seem to get under 200 pounds. The scale is taunting me. I'm staying true to my diet and fitness, but my patience is dissipating. Don't worry, I've made a promise to Stay the Course. Unfortunately, my mind is playing tricks on me and its growing like cancer. All day I've had an internal struggle and privately made comments such as; "I'll add extra calories this week, because it's Thanksgiving" and "I'll move my free meal earlier"... etc. I've had to dig deep in order to fight this tough mental battle. The last few days have not been easy, PERIOD. As I'm typing this, a group of my friends are eating at a steak house and going out on the town. Instead I chose to workout in the gym for three-hours.
I need validation.
The awards luncheon at the conference was difficult to say the least. They started the meal with an attractive, albeit dry salad of iceberg lettuce, tomatoes, and celery. The salad was good, but they only provided ONE salad dressing, which was creamy bacon ranch. The dressing looked like it was half bacon and half ranch. Needless to say I ate a dry salad. The entree wasn't much better. The green beans were grossly bathed in butter and the cheesy noodles were floating in gravy from a slab of rump roast. The meal was completed with an over sized individual apple pie. I ate the a dinner roll, salad, green beans, the noodles NOT covered in gravy, and the desert. I walked away hungry and consumed a whopping 1435 calories (estimated).
I've been reflecting on the last two day's. Clearly I still posses old behaviors that need to be addressed. There's a mental health glitch that says I HAVE to eat, especially if it's free. This same glitch assumes something horrible will happen if I don't eat. I need the ability to walk away from a meal if it's not appropriate for me. An easy solution would have been to pack small snacks and find a healthy vegetarian meal for dinner.
Lessons learned! Changes will be made. I am strong.
Skipped the last conference session to workout early. One hour on the recumbent bike, three mile treadmill run, E-2 beginner workout, and twenty minute treadmill walk.
My legs are getting progressively fatigued. After tomorrows speed work I plan to take it easy in preparation of this weekends 30k and next weeks 50k.